Kathy Chapter 3 101516

Whether I Live or Whether I Die I Want to Do God’s Will”


Job 13:15 “Though He slay me,
I will hope in Him.
Nevertheless I will argue my ways before Him.”

Luke 22:42  “Saying, Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done.”

Romans 14:8 “for if we live, we live for the Lord, or if we die, we die for the Lord; therefore whether we live or die, we are the Lord’s.”

Daniel 3:17,18 “If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the furnace of blazing fire; and He will deliver us out of your hand, O king. 18 But even if He does not, let it be known to you, O king, that we are not going to serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up.”

Kathy’s mom, related this short exchange with Kathy.  Rosalie:  “Kathy I am praying for your healing.”Kathy:  “Whether I live or whether I die I want to do God’s will.”

Kathy never gave up hope of her healing, but she resigned herself to whatever the will of God would be.  She would tell her oldest son, “We need to know that people are watching how we deal with this.  It matters how we respond.”

She kept a great attitude, and her family tried to mirror that and fed off of that attitude.  She chose not to be defined by cancer.  She was honest about her pain, but stayed positive.

Her sister-in-law shared how Kathy lived above cancer.  She would push her needs and wants aside when others needed her.

Her niece saw that she did not just face cancer willing for whatever God had, she faced life that way.  This was not some “new” way of doing things that she had to force herself into when ovarian cancer came along.  This heart attitude defined her life.

Living with this confidence in an eternal, imperishable kingdom is mocked in these times.  This brings to mind a conversation related by Art Katz, when one person derisively said, “What is this all about, ‘pie in the sky when you die?’” To which Art replied, “What are you going to have when you die?”  People who loved Kathy stumbled over her having cancer.  Many were made to wonder and question the God she so lovingly served.  Kathy displayed a trust in God that defied logic.  Faith is like that, it begins where the atheist would say it should end.

When John the Baptist first proclaimed, “Behold the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world” a pattern was stamped on to the life of Christ that is now taken up by His true disciples.  What the true believer has to face in this life is at times for the benefit of others.  Paul was very aware of this principle.

2 Cor. 4:7-12  “But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves; we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; 10 always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body. 11 For we who live are constantly being delivered over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. 12 So death works in us, but life in you.”

2 Cor. 1:8-10  “For we do not want you to be unaware, brethren, of our affliction which came to us in Asia, that we were burdened excessively, beyond our strength, so that we despaired even of life; 9]indeed, we had the sentence of death within ourselves so that we would not trust in ourselves, but in God who raises the dead; 10 who delivered us from so great a peril of death, and will deliver us, [f]He on whom we have set our hope. And He will yet deliver us”

Just because our painfully limited understanding does not compute “good” coming out of a situation does not give us the right to put God in the dock and question His goodness.  Paul goes on in Second Corinthians to push home the point.

2 Cor. 4:16-18  “16 Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. 17 For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison,18 while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal.”

Resurrection is not given the central place that it should be in most people’s understanding.  This one thing alone, helps to make sense out of senseless situations.  Paul admonishes us again, 1 Cor. 15:19 “If we have hoped in Christ in this life only, we are of all men most to be pitied.”  If there is no resurrection, no kingdom of glory, no eternal presence of God most high, then we who believe there is should be pitied above all other men.  Cancer did not define Kathy Steele’s life, resurrection did!  She lived her life as one who knew the One who has the power to raise a person to newness of life.  This life is not all there is, it is but a vapor, and not in any way to be compared to the eternal weight of glory that awaits those who trust in the cross of Jesus Christ.

Kathy chapter 1 & 2 1072016

I see my role in this book as a compiler of people’s stories. My job is relating those stories to Jesus Christ, so that His name, His love, His forgiveness is glorified. At this time I am working with only a few stories, but my goal is to ‘fill out the picture’ with as many stories as people will tell me. With all that in mind this is my first attempt at a chapter. It will not be the first chapter in the book, but it is the first one, that seemed to come together in my mind.

Bringing People from the Outside, In

Luke 15:1,2 “Now all the tax collectors and the sinners were coming near Him to listen to Him. Both the Pharisees and the scribes began to grumble, saying, “This man receives sinners and eats with them.”

1 Samuel 22:2 “Everyone who was in distress, and everyone who was in debt, and everyone who was discontented gathered to him; and he became captain over them. Now there were about four hundred men with him.”

Matthew 11:19 “The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, ‘Behold, a gluttonous man and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners!’ Yet wisdom is vindicated by her deeds.”

Jesus only did what He saw the Father doing. Jesus loved those that the religious system said he should have disdained. After all, they disdained them. They loaded them into their grading machine and found that they failed all the tests to be loved by God.

Turns out, their thoughts were not the thoughts of God.

Turns out the section of Isaiah that speaks of God’s thoughts not being our thoughts, is a section dedicated to the incomprehensible compassion of God.

Turns out, “Jesus, Friend of Sinners” was not a song title back in His day, it was an accusation from the religious system.

Turns out Jesus knew that eventually, ultimately, the wisdom of how He was living would be vindicated.

Vindicated is a delightful word; to be cleared from an accusation, justified. Would Jesus being a friend to you, draw you to the Father? Oh my yes! These sinners were going to come to God, which means they would be saved. Jesus would then be friends of the saved and wisdom would be vindicated. I think God smiles quite often at our silliness, our low opinion of Him and His mercy.

Why did the people come “near to Him to listen to Him”? His was a message of salvation to all who would call upon the Name of the Lord. (Joel 2:32)

His life and death on the cross were about to remove the curse of the law, and the ‘sinners’ recognized that it was also removing the curse of the self righteous judges who acted as if God was just like them.

Kathy Steele was a fisher of men. One man exemplifies how Kathy lived the truth of being a person who invited those on the outside, in.

Brad said that the first time he met Kathy he felt close to her, even though “they had very little in common”. He said, “I knew when she said she was praying for me, that she was.” He spoke of the fact that Kathy was “always looking for me, to talk to me.” Even when she was sick Brad noted how “there was no cloud over her, only the sun.”

He spoke of how Kathy always made him feel welcome in church. It is one thing for people to put up with your presence in the building, it is quite another for them to make the effort to seek you out and say with their eyes, their words and their heart that they are glad that you are there. One time when prayer was being offered at the front of the sanctuary, and she sensed that Brad would not/ could not come forward, she went to the back row and prayed with him at his seat. “To seek and save that which is lost.” Her heart was inclusive, filled with love and that love had to flow outward.

Brad also stated that something about knowing that Kathy was praying for you, made you “accountable” kept you from doing bad things. Love has that kind of power. When you know that you are loved, your heart is drawn to want to please the one who loves you. Some of Brad’s other thoughts were; “I didn’t know her for a long time, but she was a friend of mine.” “She helped me through addiction.” “I always felt comfortable going to her, no matter what.”

Kathy’s penchant for inviting those who were on the outside in, showed in the way she treated her now daughter-in-law’s who at one time were just dating her boys.

Both of them expressed how there was no “waiting period” or gauntlet to win her acceptance. As soon as they were dating her boys Kathy made them a part of the family. They were accepted in the beloved. They were shown this by being her assistants in decorating the Christmas tree, being her companion when the boys went out for a ‘golf day’, bringing both of them along on vacation, and when she had the family sit down to talk to them about the cancer, she included them. Other comments that her daughter-in-law’s had; She “always had an open door”, “even though we were young she respected and valued what we thought.” They were not held at arms length or made to feel second class, they were in the family 100%. The blessing of a loving family was shared without reservation.

When your heart is aware of the abundance of God, you do not circle the wagons and try to preserve a tiny amount of goodness, protecting it and clutching it close to you like Gollum’s ring. God has an abundant supply. He encourages us to invite all in. He is not afraid of running low on baked beans, invite them to the table and He will see to it that there is an abundant supply.

Almost 2000 years after Jesus fulfilled the laws of Moses, new walls have been erected. Many feel they are not going to be loved or accepted at ‘church’, the message they are hearing is, ‘You are not good enough’.

Where is the first place you should go if you are struggling with an addiction?

Where is the first place you should go if a deadly disease is overtaking you?

Where should you go if guilt and shame for your past are keeping you from God?

The local body of Christ should be the answer to these questions, but we have fallen short of our call to lay down our lives in love. It is costly to put aside time to pray, to reach out, to keep hoping and trusting in the face of disappointments. It is a hard narrow way.

Unconditional love, the ultimate drawing card, Jesus lived it. Jesus, in Kathy, lived it too. The message came through loud and clear, you are not outside of or beyond His love. Come in, your pardon has been purchased, your guilt has been absolved. Your salvation has come, rejoice! Jesus is the only explanation for that kind of love. People know when your motives are false, their antennae are up for those who are out to use them or who are only giving them lip service. Those who are hurting the most will push away the hardest as a test of your love.

The reality of God’s love had so captured Kathy’s heart that she reflected His heart. She went out to find the lost sheep, laying down her life in countless ways to proclaim, ‘You are not beyond the reach of His nail scarred hand.’ Those who were very aware of being outside looking in found a place in her heart that was warm and welcoming. Acceptance and love had touched their lives and they were changed as a result of that. They walked away from such a touch, softer, more open to the possibility that God was not finished and still had hope for them.

Despair and darkness have an enemy. Hope and light infiltrate their kingdoms and do untold damage to their plans and strategies. Kathy’s life was used by God to spear head the charge in many lives and situations. She carried hope with her. Light was shining through her and that light was magnified even more to the people who knew what she was walking through.

chapter 2

Another rough draft of another chapter, not sure how they will all fit together, I am just working on the ones that “write themselves.”

Love Prepares the Heart

Matthew 16:21  “From that time Jesus began to show His disciples that He must go to Jerusalem, and suffer many things from the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed, and be raised up on the third day.”

Mark 8:31 “And He began to teach them that the Son of Man must suffer many things and be rejected by the elders and the chief priests and the scribes, and be killed, and after three days rise again.

1 Corinthians 2:6-8  “ Yet we do speak wisdom among those who are mature; a wisdom, however, not of this age nor of the rulers of this age, who are passing away; but we speak God’s wisdom in a mystery, the hidden wisdom which God predestined before the ages to our glory; the wisdom which none of the rulers of this age has understood; for if they had understood it they would not have crucified the Lord of glory;”

Jesus was merciful to the disciples in giving them plenty of warnings about the cross that was to come.  This wisdom had to stay veiled to their minds and hidden from the ‘rulers of this age’ to fulfill the plan of God, but the Holy Spirit allowed these words to return to the disciples and comfort them.  It is a precious gift of love to do your best to prepare those you love for difficult situations.  Jesus took time out from the moments of great popularity, healings and crowds following to pull the disciples in close and have the “hard conversation” about His future death and subsequent resurrection.

Both Ken and Chris spoke of the time when Kathy would gather the family around and have the hard conversation.  She loved them enough to go to this area that would have been forbidding in its depth of emotion and pain.  She loved them enough to speak of specific scenario’s that might happen after she died.  She spoke of finances and accounts and of relationships and events that could happen after her passing.  Both boys spoke of how her words helped them after her death to deal with events and actions that followed her death.  They were honest to say that without those talks they would have been ‘rocked’ by things that transpired, but since Kathy had sat them down and addressed different ways people would cope with her death, when events started to play out they were able to calmly respond with, “Mom said this might happen.  It will be okay.”

This is a part of the hard, narrow way, choosing to have conversations that make everyone in the room uncomfortable.  Seeing that others will benefit in the future if you ‘force the issue’ now is love.  Sacrificial, joyful giving of oneself that allows people to work through some of their emotions and reactions before the event even happens.  Kathy did not ‘duck’ these types of discussions even though it would have been easier to do so.  She rose above the protests of “Let’s not talk about this” to make the transition of life without her, easier on those she loved.  She had absolutely nothing to gain in doing this, it was an act of selfless love. These are the acts that the kingdom of God is built upon. These acts flow out of a heart so taken up, taken over, by His love that they can pour out expecting nothing in return. It is a “going before”, a “preparing the way” that tears the veil of time and plants of seed of helpfulness in a moment that goes out into eternity. Oh for a gathering of believers who push aside the uncomfortable feelings and express love that gives grace to the hearer. To be a vessel of grace, is there any higher call?

Preterists do not forgive, but Jesus does!

ec”Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.”  Jesus


Preterists will tell you the Jews rejected Jesus and so AD 70 occurred and was the end of their story as a nation, called and chosen by God.  They could never be forgiven as a nation called and chosen by God.  Ezekiel chapters 36 and 37 say otherwise, but more importantly the intercession of Jesus says otherwise and it started here at the cross.  So why can’t preterists forgive?  Why do they reject what God says He will never withdraw, His gift and calling?  It is a gift after all.

Kathy book – A Word to Caregivers

A Word for Caregivers

Jesus calls His followers to the impossible so that, they will cry out to Him at the end of their strength.

Being a caregiver is a calling that will place you firmly at the end of your strength, patience and love in a short amount of time.

Illness, pain and the discouragement of not seeing anything get better rob a person of their ability to be kind and understanding. The person needing care is then at a low point and with no reserves can begin to feel like a burden. Unknowingly, manipulation can come into the situation and the caregivers can feel like they are being taken advantage of. Only the love of God can defeat the Enemy at times like these. Caregivers need to have time quietly in the presence of God, receiving steadfast love and lots of care from Him, before they can enter the situation. The Enemy is out to break the love and peace in the room. The focus needs to be on proclaiming God faithful through it all. Recognizing the true Enemy and not turning the frustrations of the situation into anger and impatience with one another. Sometimes all the person going through and illness needs is 5 more minutes of attention and care, but the caregivers do not have even 1 more minute of strength. This is the place of brokenness and weakness and death that God is bringing us to, this is the place where He can truly work. If the caregivers can be honest and cry out to Him that they have nothing left, He will come in and take over. Love will defeat the enemy, resurrection life out of a place of death, is the ultimate pattern for the defeat of Satan as he schemes to divide and conquer. At all costs, maintain your unity with God and with the one you are taking care of.

Kathy new chapter one rough draft

“We want God to give us all kinds of assurances and confidence and He wants to give us faith.” Rich Mullins

“Hard to Get” by Rich Mullins

You who live in heaven
Hear the prayers of those of us who live on earth
Who are afraid of being left by those we love
And who get hardened by the hurt

Do you remember when You lived down here where we all scrape
To find the faith to ask for daily bread
Did You forget about us after You had flown away
Well I memorized every word You said

Still I’m so scared, I’m holding my breath
While You’re up there just playing hard to get

You who live in radiance
Hear the prayers of those of us who live in skin
We have a love that’s not as patient as Yours was
Still we do love now and then

Did You ever know loneliness
Did You ever know need
Do You remember just how long a night can get?
When You were barely holding on
And Your friends fall asleep
And don’t see the blood that’s running in Your sweat

Will those who mourn be left uncomforted
While You’re up there just playing hard to get?

And I know you bore our sorrows
And I know you feel our pain
And I know it would not hurt any less
Even if it could be explained

And I know that I am only lashing out
At the One who loves me most
And after I figured this, somehow

We can’t see what’s ahead
And we can not get free of what we’ve left behind
I’m reeling from these voices that keep screaming in my ears
All the words of shame and doubt, blame and regret

I can’t see how You’re leading me unless You’ve led me here
Where I’m lost enough to let myself be led
And so You’ve been here all along I guess
It’s just Your ways and You are just plain hard to get

I am deeply indebted to Rich Mullins for writing these very honest words,

“All I really need to know

Is if You who live in eternity
Hear the prayers of those of us who live in time“

The raw human emotion expressed is what many of us felt watching Kathy walk through her overwhelming time. No human can hope to convey anything about such a time that would explain or reveal the themes that such a time provokes in the heart. I feel to remind the reader, if necessary, on every page, pray that God would help us all to get what we need out of this. There is a reason God sends His message through a body, a gathering of believers, with differing gifts, talents, and personalities. No one person has or is the answer. Many people have contributed to this writing and there is yet one more contribution that is needed, the submission of the reader to the Holy Spirit to help these words on a page to be reality in the individual spirit.

When recently a group of us were reading through Hebrews, we got to Chapter 6 and I knew in my heart it was a mine field that had been used to bring about division in the body, between brothers, and I just felt led to say, “This is holy ground, we are not going to stop and comment on this section we are just going to read it.” This is the hardest part of this book for me to write, so as best as I can I will get out of the way and treat this as holy ground.

One of the Kathy’s family members that I sat down to talk with was, her niece, Tiffany she said that in some way she felt Kathy, was somehow given a choice and chose this path. The sacrificial love that God placed in her heart was such that when Jesus revealed to her that this path could be used in His hands to bring about the answer to some of her intercessory prayers for her family and friends (and beyond) she fully surrendered to walk with Him through whatever His wisdom saw fit. Sharon’s husband Dane brought up almost the exact same sentiment. He feels God revealed to Sharon what “life” would look like if she did not go down this path and what it would look like if she did and even though the cost was great she chose the path that would bring the greatest love to those she cared about.

This point is a point where eternity is more real than this temporal world. The place of giving God everything in a moment of absolute surrender, is holy ground. It doesn’t mean the person has a visible halo, in fact they are still very much human but a sacred threshold has been crossed and the creature has given the Creator total dominion. What follows is an untwisting of the love of family members and friends who are still so tied to this plane, that they cannot yet join the, now totally free, sick person in their wide open field of freedom and God’s carrying love. Many times then there is a very difficult period while the others catch up to the sick person.

The good soil is the fully surrendered soil, where the Life of God can truly grow a hundred fold return. We follow the Lamb. The concept behind a Jewish rabbi saying, “Follow me.” is that the disciple of that rabbi would live their life following the pattern of the way that rabbi lived. When Jesus spoke of going to the cross, Peter knew full well what that meant to the true disciple and although it sounds like he is looking out for Jesus’ best interests by saying, “No master”, Jesus saw the underlying selfish temporal view, that Peter was looking to make sure there was no cross in his own future. I say again, we follow the Lamb. Sacrifice is intrinsic to the word love and the word wisdom and the word righteousness and just about every other important word in the Bible. This life is a precious seed that will go into the ground and die. The sacrificial, surrendered, life is what we are called to. Love calls us to it by demonstrating it. Jesus came as a servant because servant hood is the very heart of the God. These individuals came to a place where they truly trusted the heart of God even though they could no longer see or feel His hand.

It is a divine paradox, that we are far less important than we think we are, but at the same time each moment has eternal purpose. Each moment can be lived in a place of eternal rest. Each moment can be lived aware of eternal redemption.

As sickness and disease rob us of strength and ability and basic human needs like privacy and the ability to communicate we are taken to a place of being more heavenly minded. The veil is removed that sees this life as the be all, end all of existence. A precious costly gift is received, eternity is touched by temporal beings.

I came to the conclusion years ago that some of the Psalms that we can read in a minute, were written over a period of months, which would explain why they sometimes take such twists and turns. God has provided the people and the life experiences up to this point and I trust that He will continue to, as you read this, if we ask, if we admit our powerlessness and our need of Him, He will act. I have found Him to be faithful, not fast, but always faithful.

Kathy Sharon and Phil chapter modified

I am privileged to know a couple who were walking through terminal illness and a husband who had been one of his wife’s primary care takers through terminal illness. I benefited greatly from the time that both of them gave me and this chapter will reflect their input.

Phil and Debbie Workman were part of a clinical trial of an experimental drug near the end of Phil’s illness when they agreed to let me visit them in the hospital where the treatment was being administered. As I approached the door to enter the room there were all kinds of warning signs that would have intimidated anyone without a medical background, but from inside the room I heard laughter and “life”. Some other relatives were in the room visiting and the first thing you noticed on entering the room was the love that the room was filled with. Machines were hooked up to Phil and IV lines were here and there but all of that stuff took a back seat to the love. I immediately felt comfortable and let them know what a deep blessing it was to me to be allowed in the room at that time.

Phil spoke first, “My main concern is for her.” In the midst of a long battle with a life threatening illness his main burden was that his wife would be okay. He had made his peace with the situation and had deep confidence and trust in God. From that place of peace he was free to be aware of and interceding for his wife, whose battle was going to actually be harder and last longer. She was going to have to continue on this earthly plane with the questions, loneliness and longing for a better place. This reflected what Kathy’s mom had shared with me, that Kathy was concerned about how her husband would handle her passing away. He was faithful, strong and an unwavering support during her illness, “you could not have asked for a better man” she stated, but, the concern was there for the time after her death.

Debbie spoke next, with great honesty, “I’m trusting, but I’m scared.” Debbie spoke of anger and trust and learning to live in the moment, truly appreciating the moment. Even her anger is something that a person would not have if they did not believe that the Person they were angry with had the power to change the situation – so that too is faith.

I did not feel to impose for very long and it was obvious Phil was tired, so I thanked them for their time, prayed and left the room. The love and the trust that is only available to a people who have stopped believing that this world is all there is was the most powerful thing I gained from this time. Phil’s Christ-like sacrificial love which no longer saw himself, but truly could only see what was best for “the other” was something that would be a theme that would carry over to the next person God brought into my life.

—————This section needs work I just wanted to get a start—————————

Dane Burnworth had walked with his wife, Sharon, through many years of a battle with ALS. For the last three years of her life she could not talk. The disease stole her ability to use her muscles to move, but heightened the nerve sensations telling her that something about her positioning was not comfortable or right. God allowed them to work out a way to communicate with out words. God made it clear that this sickness was way, way bigger than just them. It was about the love of the Father and understanding who He is. The oneness that is present in a marriage that has come to the ultimate place that God has for marriage was something God was using the illness to bring them to. Dane came to a place where he saw that in caring for Sharon’s needs he was caring for his own needs. Sharon trusted him to know her needs and to help her through the scariest of times when even being able to breathe was not something they could take for granted. About 6 months before she passed, without using words this became her typical response to everything that came their way.

I know, it’s okay, I love you, tell them all.”

Dane can see now that this was a message straight from the heart of God for those who are struggling through this life. Every failure, every weakness, every step of the way we can trust Him fully.

In the course of the illness God would bring them to a place in her condition where they would need to be equipped by Him to handle it. He would stop there, equip them, let them rest there for awhile and then bring them to a new level of challenge. Dane emphasized that as Sharon became weaker it was like living with the very presence of Jesus. Friends who visited spoke of the amazing peace that was in the home.

In what would be the last night before Sharon passed away, a very special moment took place. Dane asked if she was as comfortable as he could make her, she said, “Yes.” He asked her if there was any other person she wanted there, she said, “No.” Then he lifted up his hands and said, “Then can we agree that the precious blood of Jesus paid this debt too?” She said, “Yes.” They agreed they were both at the end of their strength and had done all that they can do. At that moment, God restored all her vital signs to normal including the lung that had collapsed. (Dane took this as a sign that all our healing has indeed been paid for by the blood of Jesus, but that at this time Sharon was being called home.) Then her heart rate rate started to slow and Dane just knew that it was time to call family and let them visit one last time. But, God had demonstrated that if it had been His will, He could have healed her body.

Dane learned some good and deep lessons during this time. They saw the community united in support and love for Sharon. Two of the lessons were 1) Much of what I used to see as challenges I now see as opportunities. 2) We can carry way too much that we were not meant to carry.

God could have brought healing, but that is only one aspect of Him being greater than sickness. Sometimes we just want delivered of the illness, but that takes the focus off of Jesus

Laura Story “We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
And all the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love is way too much to give us lesser things

The universe is subject to decay and that too is a blessing from God to make us hunger and long for His presence where there is no decay.

I want to be careful not to be dishonoring in any way by putting a sentence like, “For the last three years of her life she could not speak.” I am grateful for being “allowed in” to the lives of people mentioned here, but there is a fine line between telling their story and not truly getting across the weight that they had to carry, the dark that they had to go through the struggle.. So God help me.

Kathy introduction


The original burden to write this book came to me simply as the title. I did not feel that it could possibly be true, so I put it aside. Many times it was out of my thoughts completely and it just kept getting confirmed by God, until I knew I needed to write it. I started off gathering stories from people who knew and loved Kathy. Some chapters came out of those conversations and then there was a period of time where the project lay dormant. Then connections with people came into my life that re-sparked my burden but now there was a slightly different perspective. Never having attempted anything like this before how does one know when all the learning that the author needs is done, and thoughts can be put to paper. I hope this worked is looked upon with eyes of mercy. Ask God to “fill up what is lacking” in my abilities and pray that you will get out of it what you need, in spite of the author’s failings.